I know I’m pretty much talking to an empty room right now, but I shut down my facebook and feel like putting some thoughts out to the interwebs.
I caught this link on Feministing regarding Cynthia Nixon and gayness:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/cynthia-nixon-wit-being-gay_n_1223889.html
thought (a) I didn’t know “Miranda” had come out! She was my favorite! Awesome!
thought (b) I find it fascinating that her saying that her gayness is a choice is controversial! Honestly, I believe, given the overpopulation of the world and constant complications from trying not to breed… homosexuality is the wave of the future. As an option, I personally don’t understand why it isn’t held up as the standard, responsible sexual role. But I am also fairly lesbianic and have my own agenda 
“Natural inclinations” aside, I would like to point out this debate here between “Born Gay” and “Chose To Be Gay” The first one has become popular and camped out thanks to Lady Gaga and seems to be the base argument when dealing with the religious wing-nuts. The second one is somewhat less popular in the gay rights movement, however I think it leaves WAY more room for “recruiting”… it is more respectful of sexuality as a fluid, multi-directional spectrum that changes with the tides of your life INSTEAD of a label you’re stamped with at birth. Cynthia Nixon’s got some ovaries:
I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not…
Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.
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I toadz saw that and appreciated it. Given that most folks float in the middle of the kinsey spectrum, I dunno it seems to make a lot of sense that in some ways a lot of folks “Choose” to become gay. I mean really we need a more nuanced view of attraction vs behavior.
I’m sure there are people who quite honestly “choose to be straight” in various fundamentalist groups. Who maybe have attractions both ways, and focus their energies on one gender. Is it really any surprise that there are folks who could be have pretty nuanced libidos and choose to be gay.
Also there’s this whole like choice I think for a lot of people to somehow identify as part of the queer community as like a political thing. Like I have a bunch of friends at Hunter who all are in these super hetero long term relationships and as far as I know do not pursue anything otherwise, but still because of their politics and jobs and whatnot find themselves choosing to question and really like queer-ify their straightness, if that makes any sense. Like there’s this urge to reject straight-people privilege and at the same time join the queer community, almost to the point where it like is moving beyond ally, you know? It’s something I find I do too.