Sarah Silverman in Paul Provenza's awesome shock-doc The Aristocrats.
This started out as a post about how guilty I felt about listening to crude comedy, but it turned into something almost completely different.
The stand-up profession is horribly sexist, and this perpetuates the assumption that (I’m sure you’ve heard it often) “women aren’t funny.” In fact, Christopher Hitchens, a writer I usually really like, wrote an article for Vanity Fair entitled “Why Aren’t Women Funny?” in which he suggested that the only notable women in stand-up are “jews” or “dykes” or “butch.” Overlooking the obvious crudeness (I don’t know if “dyke” is a normalized term in England) this is actually pretty accurate, but I was shocked that this pretty insightful guy would overlook the real issue. That is, why does a woman have to be “butch” to get a laugh? I’d like to attribute this stigma entirely to an age gap (I think that men of our generation do recognize the female sense of humor more than the men of 60-year-old Christopher Hitchens’ generation) but I know that if I did, I would really be deluding myself. The fact is that, like in many professions, women in comedy are expected to assimilate to a “masculine” standard. At a law firm that means shoulder pads and a pants suit. Behind the mic at Caroline’s it means pinching your clit and shouting “suck my dick” at a heckler. Any woman who refuses to meet the standard and/or implies any kind of feminist leaning in her routine is labeled “whiney,” “bitchy,” or worst, a “hack.” Though this is most obvious in professional comedy, I think it also applies to our personal lives. In elementary school I prided myself on being “just one of the guys!” I played butts up at recess and scoffed whenever someone suggested that I should take pride in being female (I remember forcing a smile when someone gave me a “girls rule” picture frame for my birthday.) Whenever I went to eat lunch at the boys’ table, I could feel my female classmates staring me down, and it made me happy because I knew I was envied. Of course, the problem with being a lady in a boys club is that you’ll never really belong. After isolating yourself from your fellow women, you’ll find not that your female friends have been replaced by male friends, but instead that your female friends have been replaced by an all-male critics board that will only accept you as long as you play by their rules, which often means leaving feminism and self-respect at the door
We’re ingrained from a very young age with the idea that women have the looks and men have the personality, but what’s really surprising is how well it sticks. That is, how overtly the assumption is held when we get older. Compare it to another assumption like women being domestic. Intelligent, liberal men probably will not claim that women are too dumb to be anywhere but the kitchen, but I know that I’ve heard plenty of men take Christopher Hitchen’s side on the funny issue. Of course, why should we even care? Maybe this is just battle-of-the-sexes-you-should-do-the-dishes-no-you-should-do-the-dishes bullshit. It’s much more important that we’re respected and considered intelligent, hard-working people, right? Well, no. Because we don’t build relationships by being smart. Of course, intelligence is always a plus, but if there’s one thing Mr. Hitchens got right its that laughter is the real “surrender”—the white flag that signals the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship. So I don’t thinking I’m exaggerating (well maybe I am…but only a little) when I say that as long as men only laugh a women’s jokes to get them into bed, solidarity between the sexes won’t be realized. Of course we can’t really help whether or not be laugh at a joke, so am I just wasting my words on this?
So what do you guys think? Have you noticed this particular stigma? Have you ever been in a boys club and what was your experience? And most importantly, why don’t people thing we’re funny?
Here’s Christopher Hitchens’ article from VF: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701
Gender Agenda 
“Of course, the problem with being a lady in a boys club is that you’ll never really belong. After isolating yourself from your fellow women, you’ll find not that your female friends have been replaced by male friends, but instead that your female friends have been replaced by an all-male critics board that will only accept you as long as you play by their rules, which often means leaving feminism and self-respect at the door.”
HOLLER. Just . . . yeah. Holler.
A couple lines from Hitchens’ article — and ps, Hitchens, I’m not laughing:
“Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence (and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright), it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience, not as rivals.”
The gaze has had me intuitively perform the audience member over and over and over again to attract male attention. This involves laughing at the right times. But I’m a natural giggler — most things I see are worth cracking a smile, and my smiles often come accompanied with a giggle string, so. I wonder. But a heteroconversation definitely complicates that automatic giggle.
I am acutely aware that, whether I laugh unwittingly or not, I am giving the wrong impression when men joke and I laugh. Cultural Lesson to Girls #47: Men like you more when they think you think they’re funny. When I time my laughter and smiles right (often unconsciously — it’s my job as a woman to do this effortlessly, right? so effortlessly I can barely tell I’m the one controlling the “comedic” timing?), the response is positive. But it is deceptive; I rarely laugh unwittingly these days. I laugh at men trying to make me laugh. When the seams show and I know that’s what they’re doing and I know it’s purposefully meant to show off or to attract me, I laugh at all of that. Whereas they see laughing in the right places at the right times and they just think it’s working.
Levels of irony.
I think the education in gender norms indoctrinates similarly gendered ideas of what’s funny, and those ideas don’t translate easily. Men’s laughter confuses me, because men (it sounds awful) laugh at me a lot, and usually when I am not trying to be funny. And I am never sure what exactly it was about what I just did or said that made them laugh, so their laughter becomes more disquieting than rewarding. I can’t take active credit. And I sense they’re laughing at my expense. I know how to make women laugh, though — I often have my female friends rolling, and can more easily craft witticisms for women’s ears only. My straight male friends and I do not share that feminine (or feminized) context. So much of that humor is so specifically contextual, and, to be fair, a lot of it is at men’s expense. So from their perspective, I laugh at them inexplicably, too — my best friend is always asking me (a little wounded when he can’t take credit, either), “Why is that funny?”
Stand up is a male dominated sphere, so no, I don’t suspect women would work within it. Butt of the joke’s not meant to be a joker.
Thanks, lucierohan! fascinating . . .
And just to footnote that Hitchens quote . . . Men are constantly threatened by my intelligence. Constantly. My speech makes men very, very defensive — it is a definite “turn off,” and my silence has gotten me much more positive sexual attention. Threats are not attractive. Being a threat does not stroke my ego. I comfort myself by saying that I do not need to be attractive. That does not make me attractive. The vast majority of men I interest prefer to commit to women they can best.
Men, please fight me on this — I do worry that when men say they want a smart woman, they mean a woman who knows enough to know how to make men feel good about themselves. They want me to be smart AND to feel like they can make me laugh; my intelligence makes them funnier. When my intelligence does not align with their interests — when I am smart and upset, and they can’t solve my problem, or more especially when sexism is the problem — they walk.
lucie, great post. and C. you continue to astound me with how well you write.
Oh man, I wish Bitch magazine (SO GOOD–come to the Women’s Center in Strong just to hang around and read it) would post their articles online. The Fall 2008 issue had a lot about ‘Loud’ women–female heavy metal bands (!!), female comedians, and a discussion about the ‘Clinton cackle’ that got so much media attention… why women’s voices are put down so often, etc. Even women’s laughter–the article proposed that a laugh was the most dangerous sound a woman could make, with its potential for ridicule. Think about it–our laughter is often dismissed as childlike (giggles, titters), animal-like (bray, crow) or witch-like (cackle). Anyway, check it out. Bitch also has a blog, by the way. bitchmagazine.com
Very thoughtful response to Hitchens article. It is true, there is a sort of sexism at work in the way women perform on stage. I take the politically incorrect view that sexism is natural…however, I sincerely believe women are the superior sex. Less war, less anger, they are better politicians, jurists, etc.
The idea that men are threatened by intelligent women resonates, and you are onto something here. Even though society seems to acknowledge that women are intellectually equal (universal suffrage is less than a hundred years old), there is great gender imbalance in many professional occupations.
That being said, rarely do I find a woman comedian that funny. I find the Hitchens article on point, and I think it’s a great topic for debate, and one that should be talked about.