Did you get raped? It must have been your fault!
Petition to get the above columnist to take back this stupid shit and amend it.
Article explaining how Amy Dickinson is quite the dickinson.
upset, but not surprised. thanks to jaxie, friend and new visitor to our blog, for sharing.
question: what does it mean for a woman, rather than a man, to write this victim-blaming column?
Yuck!
I do agree that a girl should understand how best to protect herself, and that she should avoid being drunk at a frat party– BUT, regardless the girl was victim of RAPE (not “her own bad judgment”). even if her actions increased the probability it is still the fault of the rapist. Amy’s reprimanding tone did not belong in a supportive answer to a girl who is CONFUSED and probably scared about her situation. it was just not appropriate. How did this pass the editors?
Thanks so much for posting!
I hatehatehate that victims are so often made to feel responsible for the supposedly uncontrollable libidos of frat boys. This victim in particular CLEARLY acknowledges that she “made bad decisions” and also that she definitely SAID NO. I am appalled that an advice columnist felt the need to say this girl had bad judgment. FOR WHAT? Are all intoxicated women entering frat houses making bad decisions and looking to be raped?
In response to your question, Ork, I think women victim-blame just as much as women are misogynists. Which is often. Have you read Female Chauvinist Pigs? This makes me feel like that book.
i think that although it might be wise to protect oneself, what does such protection entail? does it mean not wearing revealing clothes or not going out at night, or being safely inside the house during certain times, or locking your door? all these precautionary measures, though probably useful in the short run, do nothing but obscure the long-run impact of defensive protection. if women are always left up to their own devices, there will be no end to the offenses that they will have to endure and defend themselves from. i think its crucially important to realize that the measures women have to take to protect themselves in any society other than this horribly patriarchal rape-culture that we live in would be perceived as super paranoid. not wearing what you want, not going out when you want, being afraid of strangers who may actually need your help–these are all prudent actions for the current climate, but they are defensive. we must be proactive, not just reactive, and challenge men’s behavior, and this patriarchal/rape-culture society.
there is a fine line between protection and fear. although i am always super cautious and hardly wear revealing clothes, it sucks that those are not options for me. these defensive measures impinge on my protection. im protecting myself at a pretty high cost. i would prefer not to have to live in fear all the time. i would prefer it if the blame, which lies with the sexual aggressor, is clearly articulated, and remains the biggest focus of any discourse that aims to liberate women. emphasizing even more what ** can do and what a *woman’s* responsibility is towards herself and her body makes me uncomfortable. women already live in fear and assume responsibility for their safety–it is unbalanced. why should they have to shoulder this heavy, ever-present burden?
it is men who need to learn to stop molesting and stop aggressing and stop raping.
preach. preach. preach.
I’m writing a routine about this very subject. Excitement.
what do you mean by preach preach preach? are you saying I AM SOME SORT OF SCREECHING PARAKEET?!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?!
…
parakeets are lovely!
no really though im super confused enlightenez-moi?
ork this is redunk.
“preach” as in tell it, shout it from the mountain tops, recite the gospel. That thing.
im laughing so hard that i cant stop.
actually no. im smiling a little. but inside im dying. i swear. also lucie i love you.