While I don’t agree with everything this person has to snark about feminism, I think this monologue brings up some beautiful shit that has come to light. Perhaps it is because I live in a mostly sleepy hippie feminist town now, but this post more accurately represents my reality now (in contrast with my years at vassar). I look through my older posts on the ol gender agenda here and see myself using language that poses me as a victim to all sorts of oppression and evil. The fact is, I’ve had a lovely life and while it was good for me to be informed of how society has mistreated other people like me–that’s not me, I have been respected and given most everything I’ve ever wanted.
While the person in this video does not acknowledge the fact that feminism is kiiiind of the reason why people are listening to her, she has some fabulous points to make about how feminism has failed men. Male victimhood is a controversial topic. There are some people in the world who have actually told me that men cannot be oppressed or victimized. But, as we all know, gender is not destiny and merely being born with a dick does not mean you grow up to swing it around. And the more time I spend listening to the men in my life, the more stories I hear of women emotionally abusing men, women using the legal system unfairly against men, women kidnapping, beating, getting drunk and endangering lives, raping… the list has gone on too long for me NOT to notice a discrepancy between what I was taught by professors to believe about men and women in college and what I am now learning from my friends in the real world. I don’t believe many grown, responsible adults (especially the male-identified) want to see themselves as victims–as people who can be completely fucked over. But this is my reality–I’m not reading about this from books written ten years ago by people I don’t know or hearing it from belligerently second-wave feminist professors–my friends and family are constantly opening my eyes to this new world where, it turns out, I do have power.
This video was pretty much the women’s studies-esque vision of my life now.
Gender Agenda 
I don’t understand I totally posted a comment and then it went away! 😦
Err anyway I’ll try to rewrite it, maybe this time I’ll be less wordy…
I don’t totally agree with what this youtube person is saying… BUT I think I agree a bit.
I feel like there were definitely some folks at Vassar (and hey probably me too, my memory isn’t so good) that just had this view of women as constantly being victimized by men and never the other way around and that was a big part of feminism. I don’t really cling to this notion anymore. Like I feel like it’s there, sure. But anyone can always victimize anyone, I think it’s complicated when you get into these weird going-nowhere arguments with people about whether women are victimized by men or whether women are victimized by bad people and just as such men can be victimized by bad people too.
I guess to me things always start to dissolve and fuzzify when we get down to the individual… while I agree that the personal is political and all of that. Truthfully shit gets complicated. Like you Irene, while I have lady parts, I’m also white and grew up in an overall affluent area and went to a shmancy school. And with that comes power and privilege. Which to me is an indicator that I can abuse my power and I can continue to use my privilege.
My feminism from college feels wanting. I’m starting to realize it’s not the only lens I want to use to see the world. Because if I just leave it to feminism (one that as much as I try continues to be pretty first world, pretty white, and pretty academic) I’m not acknowledging all the shit that I cause and contribute to.
So as we slowly approach two years out, I’m finding myself looking for other frameworks to add to my toolbox. I’m not throwing out feminism, it’s still there, still nagging me to keep my hairs long, and my relationships happy, communicative, and consensual. But it’s not the full picture.
Anyway just some ramblings to add.